Syurga atau neraka ,

There is nothing wrong if you happen to cry while you are watching this. Or after you watched this video. Ya Allah, living for more than twenty years, for all the things that my parents did. Will they get what they deserve from me ?

When my grandmother passed away, I got to see all the things that the Ustaz said being done by my mother and her siblings. Alhamdulillah although it was a painful experience. On that day, I slowly taught and whispered to my grandmother to say the Shahada. At first, I saw my mother and uncle were doing it. Then I asked my mother to pass the baton to me cause I know she was trying real hard not to cry while she was doing it. When I whispered the Shahadah to my grandmother close to her ears, I couldn't say it clearly because it was really hard. Harder than what I imagined. My heart was aching as I was trying my best not to cry while looking at her. I only did for few times then I asked my uncle to continue cause I ended up crying beside her. Remembering this, I couldn't stop myself from crying. I miss her. I am glad and grateful until now that I was given the chance by Him to see her before she left us.

It's normal ,

As I'm typing this, I just cleaned the kitchen. And after more than a week, I can actually see the sink now. If you don't get what I mean, it's okay. Right now and definitely right here, I just have to tell everyone that I feel so productive lately. I cleaned the toilet and did my laundry at the same time (multitasking is my specialty), I re-folded my clothes, I ironed my baju kurung, I cleaned my study table and some other things that if I tell my mum, she'll definitely be very proud of me. After you read what I wrote and IF you didn't sense any sarcasm, oh well. I seriously did all the things that I mentioned. Just because. Just because, ahhh not worth mentioning.

Being loud and outspoken is not easy. Seriously, I feel like crying now.

I'll be having my midterm in less than a week. Four subjects, four papers. I'm having my so called study week right now haha. I have got to say, at times like these I am so emotional. Listening to some songs that remind me of my family, parents especially will make me cry. Hahahahaha feel more or less like a pondan right now. Anyways, plans have been made :)

Today, lots of my friends shared this. Oh and it reminds me of something happened few years back when I went for tarawih prayers with my dearest mummy and ayah. On that day, I definitely knew that the Imam was different than the usual one based on his recitation of dua' . I told my mum about it and she agreed. His recitation of every dua' , subhanAllah. I guarantee that you'll definitely smile. As I went for the tarawih prayer alone only with my parents, obviously "moreh" is the one thing that I looked forward to haha. After satisfied filling my tummy, my mum will ask me whether I am done. If I said yes, she'll ask me to look for my dad so that we can go home. When I was looking for my dad, I saw him sitting in a circle with the Imam of the surau, Ustaz Harun and few other familiar faces. BUT on that day, I saw a guy probably same age as I was wearing a white abaya and a white turban joined in and sat with them. He was definitely noticeable considering him being surrounded with much older guys haha. After I called for my dad, of course as a girl I have to tell my mum what I just saw hahahhahha. I told my mum about the guy that I saw and I think that he was the Imam for today's prayers and yes, he is cute. My mum just smiled. When we were in the car, my mum purposely asking my dad more about the Imam (for my sake hahahhahaha, thank you mmy. LOVE YOU <3) and my dad answered all the questions and I was smiling while listening to him. The reason I'm telling this is because, oh well, this will come out real weird. Oh mmhm well, I definitely want a guy as a husband (is this really me?) that will guide me and to correct me if I'm wrong. And yes, of course I know I should stop now because it is getting weird. Hahahahhahahahhahaahha what is wrong with me? Forgive me, and yes, the point of me writing that long is to ask anyone of you who is actually reading this to watch this video. Definitely A+ in every aspect. Well, if you get what I mean. Do you ? Hahhahaha okay, I'll stop :D

Oh I changed the template of my blog. Much softer colour as I'll turn twenty-one soon. I might as well change myself to be more ladylike. Yes, ladylike. Pffffttttt, yeah right. Anyways, this is my first post for 2012 :D

Let me speak ,

I unintentionally made a poem for my future self. It's something I'll never show to anyone until the right time comes. If anyone happen to read it oh well I doubt they'll know it was written by me. OH yes, it's that unusual.

Right now, I don't feel good about a lot of things and I'm not sure why. It is not that I don't appreciate the people around me but sometimes, I just need someone, a friend, a companion that willingly and sincerely ask me how am I doing. Really. I need that.

It breaks my heart when someone who I called my friend tries to bring me down, every single time she got the chance. Thought you'll help me like how I help you. I guess sincerity is nowhere to be found when you are surrounded with people or someone that filled their heart with greed and selfishness. It is tiring for me to fake a smile every single day. And I know, blaming other people is not the right thing to do but I just need to let this out. And let me get this straight, I'm not saying I'm nice cause I'm nowhere close because I'm a person who lacks in well, a lot. I know that.

Okay, and now I'm done.

I need a pair of running shoe so bad. And I wanted to go to Cairo or Alex to buy one because friends of mine said much cheaper to buy it over there and more choices. Compared to Mansoura haha. But Mmy and Ayah wouldn't let me so yeah, basically I can't go anywhere. Not complaining cause I know, they're just worried with the condition here in Egypt. So in conclusion, I don't know when will I ever get a pair of running shoe. Oh and my jeans ripped ! It was an accident cause it got stuck to a nail then all I see was a hole haha. Good reasons to shop but it's not happening.

Oh 6 days to a new year. People kept asking me what is my plan. Obviously the answer is to study and get a good sleep cause it's not that I'm having a holiday on that day hahahaha. When I tell this to my friends, all they say is, "How lame can a medic student be." Hahhahahhaha and that is all I can do, to laugh at such comment :D

If you know me well, I love bags, shoes and watches. And these are just too cute not to be liked

I'm a sucker for backpacks now too. I got one from my sister for my twentieth birthday. Yeah, the backpack with a monkey hanging on it hahahha, I love it so much and of course I felt guilty when she really bought it for me. Cause frankly, it was out of my reach cause obviously, I'm a student. What do you expect ? I hate TAX, you're making everything expensive haihhhh. But oh well, I feel blessed to get it from my sister though haha and I love the colour too :D oh and did I tell you she accidentally left the price tag? More reasons for me to feel guilty hehhhhh.

A great day ,

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D <3

You are the biggest bully ever. You always make me cry. You turn my life upside down. You,everything about you is a nightmare to me but it never stops me from loving you. I love you so much. Thanks for everything! For babysitting me when I was a little kid when mmy and ayah weren't around, for baking me cookies whenever I crave for them, for listening to me whenever I have something to talk about, for pinching me whenever YOU FEEL LIKE IT, for biting me whenever YOU FEEL LIKE IT, for purposely giving me your slimy kisses whenever YOU FEEL LIKE IT though you know I hate it so much, for forcing me to cook for you WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE EATING, for bullying me just because you are BORED and you need some entertainment, for making me cry in front of everyone, for embarassing me anywhere at anytime just because you feel like doing so and for making me the luckiest sister to experience all these. Thank you. Sincerely from the bottom of my heart, I love you. Since today is your birthday, I really hope that you'll have a great time though it is quite impossible since I am not around you on this very fine day haha. For that, be happy with the other five :D

Happy birthday ! You've been there for me since I was a kid and I promise you that I'll do the same. To pray for you is something that you shouldn't be worried at all. Wishing you nothing but the best and a great year ahead, insya-Allah. Thanks for being a great sister of mine. I have got nothing much to say cause I'm really homesick right now and I'm afraid I'll cry. And if I cry instead of studying that is not good cause I have exams tomorrow. I know you'll be asking me for your present as soon as you read this but not to worry, I know what to buy for you and its only a matter of time hehe. I know you'll like it but you just have to wait :D

Sorry for using this same old picture but I couldn't find any other picture of us :) <3

I love you so much !

Winter is here so it gets colder day by day. Wearing a jumper and a boxer is not so smart ey ?

Btw,

RINDU AHHHHHH (!)

Haha just for the sake of updating as someone who actually read my blog asked me to haha.

Right now, I envy my friends as I listened to their plans for winter break. Some of them are going back to Malaysia and some of them are planning to go for a holiday around Europe haha. So nice, right ? If I were given the chance to choose, oh well IF I were given the chance, I don't know. Backpacking with friends is something that I never do before so it will be a great experience for me. Going back to Malaysia is well, need I say more ? Seeing your family, FTW ! :D

Oh and Kak Aliah, if you're reading this hahahhahhahahha, NO, I'm not being kesian here. Just saying, that is all. No other intention hahahhahahah :D

BUT oh well haha, this pep talk is going nowhere cause NO, I am going nowhere for this winter break. I'll be in Mansoura in case anyone is looking for me haha. Or maybe I'll go to Cairo or Alex. That is all :D

Exams is next week, I really hope that I'll do well. Insya-Allah :)

Hi GREEN ! :D

I really did write a lengthy post before and it went missing.*PPOOOOOFFFFFFF* Yeaps, just like that. I am so angry right now :|

A lot of things happened but oh well, that is life.

Semua yang hidup akan pergi ,

I am grateful to Him for giving me the chance to be with her till her last breath, Alhamdulillah.

Looking at her wardrobe, bed and every little thing reminds me and the others of her. It is undeniable that I miss her already.

Insya-Allah, semoga nenek ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

Death Removes Difficulties

Whoever saw death in front of his eyes will not be bothered by having a difficult or an easy life.

—Shamit b. ‘Ajlaan

Sifatus-Safwah, vol. 3, p. 342