Tickles ,

I was looking for some videos to find explanations about emergencies in neonates and somehow, I ended up having multiple tabs of these videos. All these videos made me happy, so happy hahahah. Good job Adibah, good job.

Way too adorable that I had to squeeze Frosty while watching and she probably hates me for that.

It's starting next week, I am channeling all my love towards kids and may it be proven, insya-Allah. Haaa :D

Twenty- "fill in any number"th birthday

SOMEONE IS A BIT OLDER TODAY !!!! :D

Happy birthday Izzati Aliah ! :) <3

Missing my precious gems more than usual today.

Curiosity kills the cat....

You know what is frustrating? 

When things that you were not supposed to tell slipped out of your mouth.

You know what is even more frustrating than that?

When you are SO close to tell the things you should not to the other person but somehow for some reasons you ended up not being able to do so. Possibly after thinking of the consequences, it made you think twice, thrice or more and decided, oh well, better not. When the other person is persistent and wants to know so badly while being clueless, you will end up feeling guilty and selfish for not telling.

BUT SOMEHOW,

Miraculously I have mustered all my courage to do it, to tell the truth, but it did not end well. I felt so betrayed though it was no one’s fault. I used up all my courage for nothing. Nothing and it is sad, it made me so sad. When that unfortunate event happened, you just knew that maybe it is a sign that it was never meant to be told.

Because of this, I definitely should have held my tongue from the beginning. Because of this, there is definitely someone who hates me. Or maybe not hate because hate is a mean word. But that person is undeniably annoyed. Well who knows ? Who wouldn’t be annoyed to be left hanging in the middle of conversation? For this, I feel so guilty. Like really. You don't even know. Only if the other person knows what it is though.

I am sad for being left with no choice but to be selfish and it makes me want to cry.

Magnitude of Actions Affected by Intentions

Well, it had been a while. Nothing posted in October.
The irony, since that was the month that I had been waiting for. Haaa.
Maybe cause what I wanted to happen did not though I knew it all along.
Oh wellllll

Will be facing the babies and kids. The routine to hospital is starting before exams.
It had been a while since I saw any sick kids. I will probably be affected for few days.

Many small actions are made great by the intentions behind them. Many great actions, on the other hand, are made small because the intentions behind them are lacking.

Learn about intentions, for their importance is greater than the importance of actions.

—Yahya b. Abu Kathir

Words < Actions < Intentions

:D

And right now, I am just happy. Like genuinely happy. :D

Oh Frosty ,

Frosty is killing me now. She is at it again. HELP ! 

Anyways, I just found out something funny. Well, since I kind of went back so sudden last month, people were making assumptions. Scary assumptions and funny too. First, there were people thought that I had some problems and sick that I had to go back to get my treatments. Haaaa, bless you people for being so worried but alhamdulillah all is well and I am not sick. Secondly hahahahahaha, people thought that I went back because I got engaged. Like where did that come from ??!! Like seriously hahahahahaha. I felt like they were mocking me when they asked me about it but they were really serious that I had to laugh about it. I am not engaged !! Haaaaaaaaaa !!!

If you are in front of your laptop now. Try this. Put your little finger on the alphabet O and your thumb on the shift key haha. Now you know how short my fingers are haaa ! If you do play instruments, tell me that I am not making any excuses haaaa hhaha.

< A month

Cannot believe that it is less than a month ! Hikhokhikhok :O

You probably knew about this but yeah, my best friend got engaged and I missed it. Just putting it out there. We planned lots of things that we would like to do but too bad, I was back in Egypt and studying for exams. Nevertheless, I am just too happy. I knew about it months ago but as she requested for me to keep it as a secret, I had a hard time to do so. Thinking back about it, she should me buy me a nice dinner for that haaa. Anyways, I will probably be the flower girl for their wedding hahahah ! Just putting it out there.


Less than a month, just putting it out there hahahhaha. Oh welllll


Oh and when I was back at home last month. I did try to play the piano and strum the guitar ahhahaha. I played the piano based on the tutorial I found on youtube. It was undeniably hard because my fingers are too short. It might sound like an excuse or maybe I am giving an excuse right now but it was really hard. I stretched my thumb and little finger from one end to the other end hahaha, mummy had a good time laughing at me struggling but oh well, I tried. Then I asked Afiqah to teach me to strum the guitar, she too had a good time laughing at me. She said the sound I made cannot be compared to the expressions on my face. Why do I have short fingers, whyyyyyyyy ?

Ding Ding, plus point !

As per usual, since it is 9th, well and it is August (HOW TIME FLIES !?!?), another two months till my birthday :)

Now I  just found out that my best friend will not be around, she will be arriving two days later from Malaysia. My housemate will arrive a day after my birthday. Probably and possibly will be blowing the candle that I will buy for myself with Frosty, alone (Please don't. Please not alone.).

Eid was last week. Surprisingly it was great and I had a great time. Main reason cause I have my best friend with me haha. Or else, I will rot alone...... All the girls were so prettttttty with their colorful baju kurung and whatnot. And there I was, wearing the  black abaya I bought and altered on the night before Eid ahhaah Adibah !
My course mates planned to have a feast together, if you can call it that though haha. And oh I have to tell you that I am so proud with myself that I was so involved with it. I was so involved, poeple !!! Mummy would be proud hahahaha. I did contribute in every process. If not a lot, a little then. Oh welllllllll. Guess I did learn to mingle. One step closer to be a grown woman haaaaa. Plus point for me then hahahahah :D

So many hardships. Might not look like it was but we really did struggle a lot for this photo haha ! :D

Anyways,
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri Maaf Zahir dan Batin semua orang !
Since forgiving is a noble act, shame on you if you do not want to haha. Not only during Raya of course.
:D :D :D

Time flies ,

Birthday in less than 3 months. Mine :D

After sending my friend off,  I fell down when I was on my way to my class, without any reason. Hahahahhaha so paiseh. Luckily there was no one behind me haha and no one I knew was near me. Thank God !!! Whatever was on your mind, Adibah haaaa. 

Frosty and her kids are killing me. I have to be mentally prepared every morning before I go out from my room. Silently praying that my house is still okay. Bahhhh.

I am in the mood of baking and cooking but haihhhhh

Ramadhan is coming to an end. So fast.

Pointless post. The only thing worth reading is the first line haha. Oh yes, oh well. :D

Guess who is back ?!?

Notice anything new ? :D

My housemate is leaving me tomorrow morning. Will be sending her off...to her cab... of course. What do you mean me sending her off to the airport haha. Some of my friends are leaving in another 2 weeks. They are all now busy listing things they wanted to bring back. Most people are going back since they are done with their finals.
Okay. Okay. Okay.

BUT BUT BUT

Most importantly, look who decided to kindly come and visit all of us again ?!?!

RAMADHAN 

:D

Alhamdulillah.

People are busy making plans to leave me but God plans in making me busy for this holy month, insya-Allah.

Consider the life of the world like a day during which you fasted, and then broke your fast by the approaching of death.

—Dawud at-Ta’i

Ramadhan Kareem everyone :)

Certain, yes. But no action ...

We are all certain that death will come, yet we do not see those who are prepared for it.  We are all certain of Paradise, yet we do not see those who work to earn it.  We are all certain of the Fire, yet we do not see those who are afraid from it.  Therefore, what is it that you are waiting for? Death? Certainly, death is the first comer from Allah that will bring you good or evil [news].  So brothers, take the journey back to your Lord in a good manner.

—Khulaid al-’Asri

A student from Alexandria passed away last Monday.
May Allah grant paradise to her and patience to the parents.
You see, her journey of wanting to go back home was then replaced with her journey to meet our Master and Protector, our beloved Messenger and his beloved Companions.

Reminder that hits us hard.
Reminder to remind us that death is very much near us.

The Angel of Death came to Prophet Dawud (as), who asked, “Who are you?”

He said, “I am he who fears not kings, nor can be stopped by castles, nor will accept bribes.”

Dawud (as) said, “You are the Angel of Death.”

He said, “Yes.”

Dawud (as) said, “You came before I prepared for you?”

He said, “O Dawud! Where is so-and-so, your relative, and so-and-so, your neighbor?”

Dawud (as) said, “They died.”

The Angel of Death said, “Has not their death given you a lesson to prepare?”

At-Tathkirah, p.48

Oblivious ,

Definitely a fun way to wake up every morning laughing at yourself realizing you have the same hair as Dan's, specially similar like the one in the Overjoyed video hahahahahaha

My birthday is in another four months. Just gave a reminder to my friend yesterday. She rolled her eyes, laughed and said that she will be making a countdown just for that. That my friend, is what I called quality.

My sister called and I was asked about the baju kurung that will be worn on the first day of Eid which is in another 2 months...... Haha I am so touched that my opinion was taken for considerations though I will not be around during that time. Who knows when will I actually get the chance to wear it ahahahah

ALSO. My day was spent with me browsing through the websites that offer cheap flight tickets while looking at the world map mmhm, oh yes. Hahahahahaha :D :D :D

"Why are you sad? - Because you speak to me in words, and I look at you with feelings."

Hahahahhahaha

Things we lost in the fire ,

A friend of mine just gave birth to a very beautiful baby boy. He is so beautiful. I could not stop smiling when I carried and sang to him. Mind you, I need approval from her Mama (that is how she wants to be called, not ummi like how we assumed. Talk about stereotyping hahahaha) before I sang. Not just any random songs though haaaa haha. It felt really different visiting and carrying a baby this time around and I have no idea why. I can tell, same goes to my friends. I guess it kinds of trigger the motherhood in everyone. It was surreal. Everyone was just different, I think. Hahahahhaahha oh welllllll, anyways, it was time well spent.

Friends of mine are sort of being together now but they are not putting any labels to it hahaahhaah. I guess everyone knows but tend not to care (but I kind of do haaaa). And so, I went out to eat with my friend and obviously, that guy decided to eat there too (some people like to call it fate though ahahahhaha). AND I WITNESSED THE CUTEST THING EVER like what we always see in movies hahahaha but seriously. I saw that guy's face LITERALLY LIT UP when he saw my friend haahahha it was extremely cute but so funny cause it came from him that I wanted to smack him but oh wellllll. Who am I to say anything ?

Friends of mine who planned to celebrate Ramadhan and Eid together already bought tickets. Plane tickets. Each and everyone of them and I will be alone for a month(roughly) I think. I will be the only Malaysian in this building. The only Malaysian at this street. I am not sure whether I am more to scared or sad. Or just both. And now everyone is assuming me going back (feels like smacking their heads off). When I said no, they sort of mock me in a way saying there is no way I am not going back. I do not know how to explain to them anymore. For now, if anyone tend to ask me about my plans and then mock me, be ready cause soon you will be headless. Also, I sort of invited myself to everyone's or anyone's house on Eid, obviously to eat. I will use my "pity me cause I am literally alone" card to its fullest. My housemate is going back soon after she finishes her exam which is probably by the end of this month. Am I not interesting enough that people tend to leave me ? Haaaaa oh welllllllllll. Plans have been made, I just need to be more patient. Yesss :D

Why did I begin everything with the word friend ?
Why am I writing this and not sleeping so early in the morning ?
Why am asking irrelevant questions ?
Why am I doing things that I am doing now ?
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Why do I feel sad and happy at the same time due to the same reason ?

Oh well ,

Question not when you were not being told about something.
Question not when you were not trusted enough to know about it.

Question not when you were the last one to know.

Funny that someone who did not trust you was the one who told the thing that should be kept as a secret to someone else. Funny. 

Meet people in such a way that if you die, they weep for you, and if you live, they should long for you.

—’Ali b. Abi Tālib

Dandelion ,

I was looking for some videos to get better ideas on how the heart gives out abnormal sounds due to some abnormalities. It was going great then I ended up with this one.....

"My mum is as pretty as a sunset."

"The smartest thing that my mom ever said is that I love you."

:(

Whyyyy Adibah, whyyyy.

Happy Mother's Day, dearest mummmmyyyy ! :) <3

Then I found this one. I could not stop smiling. Haha I am such a bipolar.

‎If I were to backbite anyone it would be my parents, for they are most deserving of my good deeds.

—’Abdullah ibn al-Mūbārak [d. 181H]

Be brave, gain life

I hope that my love and affection towards kids will be reflected on my exams soon, insya-Allah :D aaaah.

If you look at the calender now, it can be said that my birthday is exactly in another 5 months. Hahahaha. Sorry but constant reminder is a must on this matter and I do not mind being shameless for reminding anyone. Since I will probably celebrate my birthday here, away from my family (so sad), I had been telling friends of mine about it. I had requested some stuffs that I want to do. Stuffs that I want. All I got from them mostly were nods (barely) and eye rolls. So immature.... of them haaa :D

One who is shy or arrogant cannot learn.

—Mujāhid b. Jabr

Problem now is procrastination, also the feeling of wanting to sleep the whole time. Haaaa

Lain kali pergi = most likely never going to happen.
Hahahahahhahahahahahah

Explain ,

When someone asked you to explain something that has been on your mind since forever and you really wanted to but you just can't. You just can't. You can't.

It's so frustrating.

I long for my mother's hug.

Cause everything is just so frustrating.

:(

لَيسَ لِأَحَدٍ مِنَ المَخلُوقِينَ نِعمَةٌ عَلَى غَيرِهِ مِثلُ مَا لِلوَالِدَينِ

No greater grace can be granted by human beings to one another than that which parents grant to their offspring.

—Fakhr al-Dīn Rāzī

Knowledge brings happiness,

Can I do a throwback on this blog haha ?

Just because I feel like it. Was being the annoying me while waiting for my flight. Reading and shutting people out when the others are eating, laughing, talking and well, eating. I will be fine as long as I have a book in my hand and Lauren as well.

If you desire happiness, then seek out knowledge and enlightenment, and you will find that anxiety, depression, and grief will leave you.

—Shaykh ‘Aidh al-Qarni

Balance

Lovely way to end my night with two dear friends of mine, alhamdulillah.
Thank you.

Finally, as the servant embodies and internalizes obedience to Allah, and as his spirit is elevated and his ego debased, he is filled with a deep concern for people’s welfare and for being in their service; aiding, guiding, counseling, and supplicating for them.  It is here, in the absence of the ego, that the effusions of true altruism pour forth from the servant, exemplifying the Prophetic concern and conduct.

—Abu Aaliyah Surkheel Shari

:)

Done

I am putting a stop to it. 

Should have not done it. 

What was I thinking ?

Yesterday,

I am happy.

Happiness is addictive.

Happiness is contagious.

Yesterday would be a normal day filled with classes.

Only....

Something happened and made yesterday out of norm.

That something happened for the first time.

That something involved another soul.

That something simply made me happy.

Because of that something, 

My hands were cold. Still are.

I could not stop myself from smiling.

I am positive that I really did smile in my sleep.

I am just happy.

The only explanation as to what I am feeling right now is by filling up a massive balloon with happiness, let it float and burst it. You will feel what I feel. Your body will be fueled with endorphins. 

With that, you will be wearing the best accessory.

A smile.

Your biggest smile.

I am happy.

(Still smiling. Had been smiling.) 

:)

I wish this to have a continuation.

All you ever,

Shirts or anything with the pads at the elbow. Oh how I envy people wearing anything with the pads and look nice in them solely cause the pads situated perfectly at their elbows. Oh you lucky people. If I happen to hate you, only reason being whenever I wear them, the pads will be somewhere in between my elbow and wrist. The sleeves are always way too long for me. Unfair. My love for elbow pads are being turned down. 

I love elbow pads so much. Ironically I never own anything that have them.

...............

This might be weird as I am ranting about elbow pads. There is a long explanation for it. I happened to rethink and decided that it is better if I only keep it to myself. I could not bring myself to continue writing hahahaha. If you actually read until this point, I feel sorry for you as you wasted your time. Haaaaa. Thank you though :D

..…..........

I have few things that I would really like to write but some things are better left unsaid. Keep it to yourself somehow is the best thing you can do to be happy. Haaaaa

The lattice, flapping to and fro ,

"Hello, I'm having dinner now with my family for the eve. What's your plan?"

Right now, I am devastated and crushed.
Firstly, cause I read Wuthering Heights.
It is just so sad that I need a moment after reading it. I am heartbroken.

"I have not broken your heart - you have broken it - and in breaking it, you have broken mine. So much for the worse for me that I am strong. Do I want to live? What kind of living will it when you ... oh, God! Would you like to live with your soul in the grave?"

"Hush, my darling! Hush, hush, Catherine! I'll stay. If he shot me so, I'd expire with a blessing on my lips."


And without a doubt, I definitely sure am sad.


Secondly, I read The Fault in Our Stars.
It sure is sad that I cried twice in a day because of these two books.

I blame Augustus for saying everything what a girl wants to hear. Because NO, you are leaving her. How can you build up hopes for someone to love you when you know you are soon leaving that person. No, it is just wrong and you certainly can not do that. And Josh Green, you ridiculously talented mean writer, how can you simply give the ideas of perfection of every girl's dream and made him die at the end ? That is just so wrong cause again, YOU CAN NOT DO THAT !

"Oh I wouldn't mind Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."

"H: People always get used to beauty, though.
G: I haven't gotten used to you just yet."


WOOOOT ahahha I was laughing and swooning like, NO, SHUT UP GUS !

Ladies and gentlemen, this was how I celebrated my new year. Tucked in my blanket and sobbed till I fell asleep. Also, by reading Wuthering Heights, I can't seem to stop myself from underlining the line that I love. There's just too much that I think I will definitely read it again, soon haha. Though I will cry again. I quite miss my literature classes and endless discussion of every single and littlest thing haha.

2014.
New resolutions are only allowed if you did fulfill your last year's resolutions. So, tell me, did you?
The ideas of renewing your resolution..... sigh. I do not know from where should I start...

First quote of the year that I would like to share simply cause everyone needs a constant reminder,

Hoping to receive the Mercy of the One who you insist on being disobedient to is a kind of betrayal and foolishness. - Ma'ruf al-Karkhi